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Little Pearl, Big City

HI MY NAME'S PEARL AND I LIKE CREAMPUFFS

This is my personal blog!! So excuse my face up there. I do what I like on here, so if you want a prettier face please go to my cosplay blog!!
Jenni: Nana, if your future boyfriend ever wants you and me to make out in front of him for his own sexual pleasure we are going to bite his penis off.
Jenni: Actually we're not even going to put our mouth on it I'll hold it, and you can chop it off.
Jenni: GRAB THE CLEAVER NANA AND *chop*
Nana: I wouldn't use a knife
Jenni: Wh-
Nana: I would just grab a spoon and carve away slowly.
paulbox:

This doesn’t make me want to sign up for Tumblr.com.

paulbox:

This doesn’t make me want to sign up for Tumblr.com.

(Source: paulbox)

— WHAT JOHN AND DAVE SEX GIF

orangelemonart:

fuckyeahpepsicola:

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this one

LITERALLY JUST TELLING PEARL ABOUT THIS JFC

SHE WAS SHE WAS AND OH WOW HE-LLO

insecureillustrator:

Blimey, our team made it to the final stage again! This nsfw illustrated fic (read it here!) is our entry for the third round of HSWC, and if you passionately hate hot smut, Stridercest, and really good characterization, this isn’t the fic for you! (You know you want to read it! Come over to the Orange Side!). Final Stage voting is open [here] so if you think team Davesprite<3Dirk has earned your vote, you know what to do~

insecureillustrator:

Blimey, our team made it to the final stage again! This nsfw illustrated fic (read it here!) is our entry for the third round of HSWC, and if you passionately hate hot smut, Stridercest, and really good characterization, this isn’t the fic for you! (You know you want to read it! Come over to the Orange Side!). Final Stage voting is open [here] so if you think team Davesprite<3Dirk has earned your vote, you know what to do~

scribbletora:

***The First Ship Porn Link***
finally did it =w=;; because the nsfw policy i don’t want my scribbleblog being flagged, so i posted it on the nsfw blog

scribbletora:

***The First Ship Porn Link***

finally did it =w=;; because the nsfw policy i don’t want my scribbleblog being flagged, so i posted it on the nsfw blog

okay serious question that i want answers to:

in fics where the trolls have tentabulges and nooks, where does the genetic material release from? Nook, bulge, or both? 

honestly in my mind it is not a constant. i don’t think about it very hard when i’m reading buti guess when it comes down to it and i have to imagine where what would come out of what, genetic material would generally come out of the parts being used. so like, if it was a nook/bulge combo, only those parts would release genetic material? same with bulge/butts, nook/dick, bulge/bulge, etc. 

iunno what do you all think

scribbletora:

naughty naughty first ship preview for the birthday girl~
(i don’t normally do previews but i just had to and it was fun playing with the stickers!)

/wheeZES HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEeee frick yeS HAND IT OVER &lt;3333333

scribbletora:

naughty naughty first ship preview for the birthday girl~

(i don’t normally do previews but i just had to and it was fun playing with the stickers!)

/wheeZES HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEeee frick yeS HAND IT OVER <3333333

reiburger:

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i saw this and had to draw it and hahA i avoided drawing dicks again sorry

— It’s Even Less Safe (for work) To Dream About Your Crushes

egglorru:

A direct follow-up to the previous ficlet, in which John finishes his daydream that night in bed.

This is for OrangeLemonArt, who requested I finish, and also for Sgt, because I deliver.

Next time I write all-out smut, I promise it will actually be Johnkat.

Warnings: Twelve pages of straight-up smut. Stiiiiiiiiiill dunno if this is selfcest ;D

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I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMFG

I CAN’T EVEN OMFG

I CAN’T

HERShdgfhsgfh

alright okay i demand that every single Hemogoblin cosplayer from now on carry around two packets of lube and one condom in their thigh pouches from now on. it’s a requirement. a necessity. it needs to happen.

— It’s Not Safe (for work) To Think About Your Crushes

egglorru:

There’s a reason John tries not to let his thoughts wander on the job.

Funny how innocent inspiration from [Jove] can evolve. If you’re extremely puzzled as to how that gif has ANYTHING to do with this fic, it’s the part where John is looking through Hemogoblin’s eye.

(I’m just going to pretend the reason the next chapter is late is because I’m being punished for not writing a post-chap response until now. Shhh don’t correct me, thinking like this motivates me to write more.)

Warnings: nsfw, John’s brain ramblings, a tiny bit of bloodkink because that’s my kink so you get to suffer it yet again, and also probably not the pairing you’re reading RMWT for, but which may or may not be peaking your interest in 5, 4, 3…

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I BLACK SHIP THIS SO HARD

SO FUCKING HARD